Posts Tagged ‘Family Law’

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Can I terminate my child’s father’s parental rights?

Saturday, October 15th, 2011

I get this question fairly often.  It is usually from a mother who also says that the father has no contact with the child at all and he hasn’t paid any child support.  Often, there is a comment that the father is in jail for some reason or another, and perhaps there is an order of protection for both the mother and child to keep the father away.

I’m not entirely sure why they want the father’s parental rights terminated.  If the father is not in the picture at all, then he is not a problem to either the mother or the child.

If the mother wants to make sure that she is the only one making any decisions for the child, she can always file for full legal and physical custody with no visitation, or very limited, or only supervised visitation from the father allowed.  If the father is really as absent as the mother says, he is not likely to argue against her and it is likely that the court will award her full custody.  If the father is actually in the picture, but a detriment to the child, then the court may order only supervised or no visitation with the child.

If the father objects to the full custody being given to the mother, he can argue that in court and the court will make a determination based on the best interests of the child.  The Commonwealth of Virginia is interested in doing what is best for the child, not supporting one side in an argument between the parents.

Also, so long as the father is the legal father, the mother can be awarded child support which must be paid by the father.  If the father does not pay his court ordered child support, he might be put in jail for that failure.  Again, not really a problem for a mother who apparently does not even like her child’s father.

If the mother is married to someone who is not the child’s father and she wants to have her new husband adopt the child, a step-parent adoption process can be followed which will end up as a sort of termination of the father’s parental rights when the father agrees to the adoption, or if the adoption is approved without the father’s consent.

There is also the situation where the mother wants to terminate a father’s parental rights because the mother is receiving social services and they have told her that they will go to court to have the father ordered to repay the public funds as child support.  The mother wants to receive the funds, but she does not want the father to have to pay.   And yes, sometimes the father is living in the home with the mother and the children.

The Commonwealth of Virginia has determined that it is the obligation of both parents to provide for their children.

So the short answer to the question of whether you can terminate your child’s father’s parental rights is generally ‘no’.

If you have any questions about this or any other legal subject, please feel free to give us a call at 757-234-4650 or visit our website at http://www.BeaversLaw.com.

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Posted in Children, Custody, Family Law, Support | No Comments »

Who Gets Custody of the Children — Take 2

Sunday, October 9th, 2011

Some time ago I wrote a blog post on Who Gets Custody of the Children and the information there is still valid.

But that post assumed that the children were born during a marriage that was ending in divorce, which is not always true.  More and more children are being born into ‘relationships’ that do not have the benefit of a marriage ceremony.   And often these children have siblings with different fathers or mothers and the child may be very close to a step-parent.  And often the children are actually living with grandparents, or other relatives, who have taken over the parenting role.

What happens in these complicated situations?

The basic rule of  doing what is in the best interest of the child still stands, but there are some additional hurdles that must be considered.  First of all, there is a presumption in Virginia that being with the natural parents is in the best interest of the child. If someone other than a natural, biological parent wants to have custody of the child, they must first prove that the bias for the natural parent is wrong in this case.  Generally this means that the other person must prove that it would be harmful for the natural parent to be granted custody.

This often puts the entire family at odds with each other as Grandma goes into court and says that her own child is not a fit mother or father for the grandchild.  Often, there is evidence of drug abuse or other activity that the courts use to determine that the child really is better off with Grandma and Grandma is granted custody.

Or it might be that the biological parents are really too young to be able to take care of the child and they willingly give up custody to Grandma who might be in her late 30s or early 40s and is more established.  Grandma is also still at an age when she could have more children of her own and she is looking forward to being a mother again.

Fast forward a few years and now one or both of the biological parents are finishing school and getting on their feet and they now want to take over the parenting role for their child.

The courts will look at all of the evidence about the lifestyle of all of the parties, and at the relationship that the child has with each of them.  The judge will still make the decision based on what is in the best interest of the child given all of the facts surrounding this particular case.

If the biological parents have had little contact with the child, the courts might order that the primary custody stay with the grandparent for a time and the biological parents be given increasing visitation so that the child can form a relationship with the parent with a goal of moving custody to the parent in the future.

If the biological parents have had a lot of contact with the child and there is already a bond between the parent and child, the courts are more likely to grant custody to the parent and the grandparents will then become what they were meant to be….grandparents.

Based on what I said before, the grandparents with custody might decide that the best path for them to take is to keep the child from visiting with their biological parents and that way they can keep custody.  But remember #6 in the factors to be considered when determining custody.  The courts will not look kindly on any custodian who keeps the child away from the biological parents without a really good reason, and that in itself might be enough for the courts to decide that custody must be taken from Grandma and given to the biological parent.

Also, as I mentioned last week, relocation may be a problem.  As I said before, the courts cannot keep YOU from leaving the area, but the courts may be able to stop you from taking the child with you.

If you have any questions about this or any other legal subject, please feel free to give us a call at 757-234-4650 or visit our website at http://www.BeaversLaw.com.

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Can I move my child to another state?

Sunday, October 2nd, 2011

I often get calls from people who want to move to another state and want to know if it’s ok to take their children.

Like most things in law, the answer is ‘it depends’.

In Virginia, if there is any sort of court ordered custody arrangement, you must notify the court and the other parent at least 30 days in advance of when you plan to move.  Why?  So the other parent has a chance to bring this up with the court before you and the child relocate.  Will the court stop you from moving?  It depends on the reasons for the relocation and the ties that the child has to family in his/her current location.  Of course the court can not stop YOU from moving, but they may order that the child not be allowed to move with you.

What if you take the child anyway?  Can the court order you to bring the child back?  The answer is ‘yes’, and if you take the child against the court’s orders this is called kidnapping and it is not something that you should take lightly.

Also, the court order means you need to notify the other parent and the court prior to any move, not just a move to another state.  You also need to notify the court and the other parent if you just move to another town, across town, or even just move next door.

What if you don’t have any sort of court ordered custody?  In that case, either ‘legal’ parent may move and take the child with them.  Which brings up the next question, who is a ‘legal’ parent?

Generally, if the woman is married at the time of birth, her husband is presumed to be the father of the child, and he will be the ‘legal’ father even if everyone knows he is not the biological father.  In order to have this changed, you must go to court to get  paternity established so that another man can become the ‘legal’ father.

In the case of adoption, the court can name a legal mother and/or a legal father who is not related to the child biologically.

If you are a legal parent of the child and there is no court order regarding the custody of that child, then the answer to the question about a move is ‘yes’, you can move your child to another state even if this means moving the child away from the other legal parent.

If you think this might be a problem for you, then you might want to consider getting a court order to establish a custody arrangement.

If you have any questions about this or any other legal subject, please feel free to give us a call at 757-234-4650 or visit our website at http://www.BeaversLaw.com.

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Posted in Children, Custody, Family Law | No Comments »

Watch what you put on Facebook!

Sunday, September 25th, 2011

We all know that you shouldn’t put things like your home address or phone number on facebook.  But a lot of people put things on Facebook that can really ‘come back to bite  you’.  Talking to a good friend in person or on the phone is one thing, but typing some things onto Facebook can cause very severe repercussions, especially if you are in some sort of legal situation.  Privacy settings get changed relatively often these days and you really don’t know who is reading what you post.

In fact, you should always assume that whatever you post is being seen by everyone, including your soon-to-be-ex or his/her attorney and the Guardian Ad Litem that has been assigned to help the court make a custody decision.  Posting derogatory remarks about your spouse often backfires and leads the decision-makers to think poorly about you and your ability to co-parent your children effectively.

Talking about a new boyfriend and what a great weekend you spent together with your kids will possibly send you back to court when your children’s father points out that there was a court order that did not allow you to have overnight visitors of the opposite sex when the children were present.

Talking about your adventures on the new horse at the stable where you ride will not show you in a good light when you are brought into court for failure to provide the child for visitation and your excuse was that you are in a high-risk pregnancy that does not allow you to drive for over an hour to bring your child to his other parent after you moved away to be in a different state with your new husband.

Stories and pictures of you skiing do not help when you are trying to get disability or workman’s comp because of a back injury.

Bragging about having a new wide-screen TV that ‘fell off the back of the truck’ just might show up as evidence in a criminal investigation.

A picture of you with someone might be used as evidence that you and the person knew each other even though you say you never met.

Pictures of you with your ‘friend’ might just show up in your divorce proceeding as evidence of an extra-marital affair.  Or pictures of you out drinking with your buds might just show up in your custody case.

And don’t forget that potential employers might be reading when you write that your job is soooo boring and the time and date stamp of the post shows that you post on Facebook a lot while you are supposedly working.  I especially like the posts that tell the world that you think your boss is a ___ (fill in the blank).

You might think I’m just making this stuff up, but I’m not.  These things are really happening.

Text messages and Facebook posts are showing up more often in legal actions and they can often derail your legal plans.

Just be careful of what you post.  Remember that what you post, or what comments you make, are not just being seen by your closest friends.  Your fiercest enemy might also be watching!

If you have any questions about this or any other legal subject, please feel free to give us a call at 757-234-4650 or visit our website at http://www.BeaversLaw.com.

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Do I need to go to court?

Monday, September 5th, 2011

I was in court last week and noticed that there were a lot of people who didn’t show up for their scheduled court dates.  The judge was NOT happy and issued a lot of ‘failure to appear’ charges.

In fact, in one case I remember, the judge dismissed the underlying reason for the person to come to court that day….but issued a summons for the person and that person now has a ‘failure to appear’ charge pending.  I know this judge usually gives people a couple of days in jail for the failure to appear, so this one particular person went from having his charge dismissed to facing possible jail time.  All because he didn’t show up.

Why do people not show up in court as scheduled?

I imagine that a lot of them just forget.  Forgetting is NOT a good excuse.  Think of it this way, would you want the jail to ‘just forget’ to let you out?  Get a calendar and mark that date.  Put a reminder on your cell phone.  Put a note on your refrigerator.  Whatever it takes to get you to court on the right day.

And make sure you know what courtroom you are assigned.  I’ve often seen situations where people will sit in court all morning just to find out they were in the wrong court!  If you don’t know for sure where you are supposed to be, ask the guard when you first come in the building.  Show the guard your summons and ask for directions to the right courtroom.   This can be especially frustrating when there are different buildings.  You can also check online to make sure you know where the court is located.  Or call the clerk’s office to confirm your date (and time) and ask the clerk for directions to make sure that you are going to the right place.

Some people say that they got a paper in court, but they never got anything in the mail.  In the past, they always got something in the mail, so they figured they would get a notice in the mail this time too.  Sorry, you get notices in the mail when they can’t give you the notice in person.  If they give you a piece of paper in court with the next court date, you NEED to be there!

I had one person tell me that the original date was ‘just for child visitation’ and they decided they didn’t want to fight the visitation request, so they didn’t show up.  Not a good idea!  If you don’t want to fight the visitation request, you need to show up in court and tell that to the judge.  Otherwise, the judge will probably issue a ‘failure to appear’ summons and you will show up in court at a later time, with a much bigger problem!

Some people say that something else came up and they couldn’t make it to court.  If something really does come up, you can contact the court before your scheduled time to appear and the judge MIGHT give you a break and schedule another day.  Being in the hospital for surgery is the type of thing that the judge might accept.  Wanting to go shopping instead, or oversleeping because you were up late the night before is something that the judge will probably NOT accept.

For traffic tickets, the officer will write on the ticket whether or not you need to appear.  Most of the time, you can use the online system to pay for simple speeding tickets (although you should be aware that pre-paying the ticket is the same as pleading ‘guilty’ and you will receive the ‘points’ against your license).  If you have been charged with reckless driving, you must appear.

Sometimes an attorney can appear in court on your behalf and you don’t need to be there yourself.  Be sure to check with your attorney to make sure whether or not you need to appear yourself.  I generally suggest that my clients also appear in court even if they don’t really need to be there.  After all, it’s your life, your money, or your freedom that is at stake and you really should be involved in anything that might happen.  The attorney can tell you what the ‘regular’ judge will probably do, but that judge may be sick this one day and there is a substitute.  It’s just better to be there yourself.

The bottom line is that if you have been told to be in court on a certain day at a certain time, you need to make arrangements to be there!

If you have any questions about this or any other legal subject, please feel free to give us a call at 757-234-4650 or visit our website at http://www.BeaversLaw.com.

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